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I saw a guy today at Starbucks. He had no smartphone, tablet or laptop. He just sat there drinking his coffee. Like a psychopath.
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
I`m living in a drama-free bubble today. Respect the bubble people, respect it!
There`s a sense of great satisfaction when I`m the tie breaker between `Funny` and `Not Funny` status updates.
I`m great in bed" ~ breakfast
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore
I`ve officially met everyone`s mother yesterday via Facebook so I`m pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
When we married, she treated me like a God. As time went by, the letters got reversed
In "I am Legend" Will Smith lives alone for years. But then 24hrs after a woman shows up, he dies.....AND she stole his bacon
I hate it when old people poke you at weddings and say you`re next. So I`ve started poking them at funerals
thjeo oskl asopa joa sajksla wioj apska shul bhcgy ....Yes I just wasted your time ;)
I need a new bad decision.
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...