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Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
I`ll do a lot of things for money, but I draw the line at working...
"Don`t make me regret this." -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5`9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please
The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
Look, all I`m saying is if you didnt want me to take my clothes off and do an interpretive dance you should have turned off Michael Jacksons "man in the mirror".
to do list: buy a parrot. teach the parrot to say, "Help!! I`ve been turned into a parrot!"
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what`s going on and there`s a lot of wine drinking.
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.
I can`t believe that it`s the year 2012, and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort.
I liked Hoarders much better when it was called Sanford & Son.