Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How can so many movies be “based on real events” when no one farts?
I can`t believe it`s been a year since I didn`t become a better person....
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
just realised SATURDAY has the word TURD in it
Preheating an oven requires too much commitment.
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with hope that it might magically solve her problems.
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.
Women fall in love by what they hear. Men fall in love by what they see. That’s why most women wear makeup and most men lie.
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.