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is about to stick a pin in your voodoo doll... brace yourself.
It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided, if they had built their towns big enough for another person
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
"What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
My doctor told me, "DON`T mix this medicine with alcohol or you could wake up somewhere naked with a monkey on your arm." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
Tony Soprano dead....Whitey Bulger on trial...coincidence??? I think not!
Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.
When people tell me knock knock jokes, I pretend I`m not home.
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
Facebook is like my fridge… I know there is nothing there but I check it every 10 minutes anyways.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they`ll dig the wrong way. It`s called thinking ahead guys.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.