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Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
Money can`t buy you happiness, but it does give you the ability to rent it until you die.
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
If I share something clever and witty on Facebook, don’t try and out clever me with your comment. I don’t come over and blow out your candles on your cake.
Just because someone`s richer or more famous or talented doesn`t mean they`re happy. It just means they`re happier than YOU.
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
According to my nipples, there is a 99% chance it`s cold as hell right now!
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
Keep honking. I´m reloading.
Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.
Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail.
You had me at Rice Krispies Treats