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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
Missed Connection: You were standing at the RedBox. I was in my car self pleasuring. I accidentally honked like 8 times.
Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
Its all fun and games..until you get stuck on a level of candy crush!!!
There is no better sunscreen than sitting inside a bar.
I wasn`t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.
I just ended a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn`t mine.
Sorry I can`t go out tonight, I can`t find anyone to cover my Facebook shift.
You can`t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them & hope they panic & give in.
Facebook.. reminds me a lot of high school. Full of alcohol, drugs, jealousy, sexual frustration and a bunch of boobs I`ll never get to touch.
The only b word you should call a woman is beautiful. B!tches love to be called beautiful.
Whoever convinces blind people that they need sunglasses,, is one heck of a salesman....
If he`s dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven`t gotten my period."
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.