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There is no "we" in "bacon", so don`t even ask.
I don`t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!
There`s no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
My daily routine: Wake up, be awesome, go back to sleep.
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
It was all so different before everything changed.
Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
Go home Polar Vortex....yer drunk.
Not that I expect 100% truth in advertising, but shouldn’t those women in the tampon commercials be wielding chainsaws and burning stuff down, not laughing and dancing?
I hate that little line of dirt that I can never get into the dust pan.
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.