Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
I don’t understand the point of lap-dancing clubs. If I wanted a woman to take all my money and sexually frustrate me, I’d stay at home with the wife.
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
You know what`s really great about being a narcissist? Me.
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
When your wife`s in labour, never sneak a look at the business end; it`s like watching your favourite pub burn down.
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words “The” and “IRS” together it spells “Theirs.”
I look at you and think "why has no-one hit you with a shovel yet?"
My leadership experience is pretty much limited to those three consecutive days in first grade when I was line leader.
Nobody looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep.
Would I be in a porno for a million dollars? It depends. What kind of porn? Will my mom see it? Do I have to pay the million all at once?
Apparently asking girl scouts which cookie pairs nicely with whiskey is inappropriate....