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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider doing it.
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
That feeling you get when you meet someone named dick....
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
I`m not worried about the zombie apocalypse that is coming. I`m worried about the fcuktard apocalypse that is here right now.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
If I make you breakfast in bed. A simple `Thank you.` is all I need! Not all this `How did you get in my house?` business!
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.