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finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild
I enjoy being the black sheep of the family ... Black sheep are the prettiest & don`t show as much dirt as the white ones.
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
I hate it when people call dogs "stupid". I mean, when was the last time you saw a dog step in human poop?
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
All I`m saying is, you`ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...