Daily Silly Status

Just so you know, the movie "Life of Pi" has nothing to do with dessert.

If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?

Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.

So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.

"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"

Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"

Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister

As My Wife walked by, she said, "NICE PORN STASH!" which got me all excited and I preceded to show her where I hide the really raunch stuff. She then clarified that she was talking about the ugly hair I`ve been trying to grow above my lip, and now, I have neither... :)

I asked my wife what women really want, she said attentive lovers. Or maybe she said "a tent of lovers." I wasn`t really listening.

If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.

I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.

Just when you think someone couldn`t be any more annoying I test your theory.

I can keep a secret… It’s all the other people I tell it to who can’t.

I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.

Hysterical Shrieking should be reserved for truly serious situations such as Centipedes, Spiders, and that Creepy Uncle that likes to give everyone back rubs.....