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People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
Teamwork is just another way of saying we will soon be sharing in the blame equally.
The problem with the rest of the world is that they are always 5 drinks behind.
It`s so cold outside I just saw a teenager with his pants pulled all the way up!
"Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I`d been invited to an autopsy.
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
How long does it take possums to realize when one of them is actually dead?
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
You know it`s time to delete Facebook when your mom, dad, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc... is on it.
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria
Several years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.