Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Why do people say ”I saw it with my own eyes.” Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
Sometimes, I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
Designated drivers just drive me to drink.
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
"You`re better than that" is almost never true
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
You should see the sh!t I don`t post.
I bought my mother in-law one of those atomic clocks. I can`t wait for the alarm to go off.
More celebrities should donate blood. I mean, imagine having the blood of Will Smith running through your veins.
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head...
"When I grow up, I want to marry a man addicted to video games" ~ No woman ever.
Dear women at Walmart with 6 screaming kids: if your wondering how that box of condoms got in your cart.... Your welcome!
Word to the wise - make sure the phone is 100% hung up before you call someone an a$$hole.
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?