Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love a good nap. Sometimes it`s the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.
Live each day like you’re marked for deletion.
I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
I don`t understand no one has excepted my boiling water challenge
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
My neighbor just spent $237.43 at the vet, that`s $1,662.01 in dog dollars.
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
Don´t believe all the rumours you hear about me, the truth is much worse.
Mall kiosk employees are basically human pop up ads.
The last 10 seconds of every voicemail my grandmother leaves me is her trying to hang up the phone.
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It`s still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.
Do athletic people not know about Netflix?