Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist....
it`s not that I`m bad at remembering names, I`m just awesome at forgetting them.
I handle stress the way cats bathe in water.
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
I love using my GPS, problem is I can`t find it.
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
Isn`t it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don`t know what ironic means.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
If someone tells you “it’s better than sex” they’re not doing the sex right.
I lost my mood ring today. Not sure how to feel about it
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
wishes that more people would declare thumb wars these days. I`m sure that all this texting has prepared my thumb muscles for battle.