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When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
2 words, 1 finger.
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven`t seen for half an hour.
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
75% of women in open relationships don`t actually know it yet.
Everything is legal when the cops aren`t around.
If you think my status updates are ridiculous you should see my life choices
I would unblock you but then I`d be admitting I`d made a mistake and that`s just not my thing.
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.
Finding a needle in a haystack is quite easy if you just set the hay on fire.