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If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
I do 5 situps every morning. I know it doesn`t sound like much, but there`s only so many times one can hit the "snooze" button......
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There`s liquor and you can`t hear them.
Its around this time each year that i just enjoy going outside and seeing my christmas lights already set up from the year before.
Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money.
Another day....another 0.2% of a dollar
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.
It`s the weekend!!! I haven`t been this excited since my phone got stuck on vibrate.
Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my lovers hair. It`s a nice way to let them know my love and also that we`re out of napkins.