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Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.
I hate it when a website greets me with a pop-up window. It just feels like you should say hi first, maybe buy me a drink.
New camo condoms! She`ll never see you coming again.
Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
I`m starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.
Babysitters are just teenagers who behave like adults so that adults can go out and behave like teenagers.
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
"what doesnt kill u makes u smaller" -mario Lol
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
As an adult, I’m not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought I would.
I hate being bipolar, it`s great .
The reason swans mate for life is because they don`t talk.
The first guy who made fire by rubbing two sticks together probably did a lot of other weird sh!t.