Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
Why don`t we ever hear anyone bragging about their Allstate safe driving bonus checks?
Life rarely hands me anything. Am I in the wrong line?
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
I’m tired of things costing money.
As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: "I`m going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."
Honestly, I’ver never see anyone fall because of a banana.
You said you wanted my advice, but I see you haven’t f*cked off or died yet.
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.
Ever noticed how you used to be embarrassed by things you did or that happen to you, but now your first thought is "I can post that"
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.
"Estimated Time of Arrival" on the GPS. Challenge accepted!