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Does the Food Network deliver?
I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
You ever notice that the most dangerous thing about marijuana is getting caught with it?
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to Bounce of 3 walls, Knock over a lamp and kill a cat.
I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.
I`m not always rude. Sometimes I`m sleeping.
The Fourth of July was an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.?
Anyone notice the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
Happy Birthday to someone I would donate some non-essential organs to, and the fact that a Facebook reminder told me it was your birthday doesn´t make it any less special. Plus I live so far away that your birthday requires almost no effort on my part. And sorry I tried to kill you all those times when we were
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
Christmas is truly a magical time. It`s made all my money disappear!
people say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but it`s the only way I can talk to you.
If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
I`m broker than the Tooth Fairy in a house full of Meth addicts.