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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.
What if all this time it`s been Chicken that taste like Frog legs????
I slept on my neck funny and today I will be turning my whole body like Batman every time I have to look at something.
Beer is like sex. When it’s good it’s good…when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life`s problems
You make me feel "I`m-typing-this-with-my-middle-finger" angry.
If I could be any animal I`d pick a turtle, strictly for the chance, however slight, I could be turned into a ninja.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke break a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
Nothing tells your friends you`ve made it in life quite like owning a 4 slice toaster.
My favorite thing to do on Facebook is to get in a long conversation with someone and then delete all my comments so they look crazy.