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FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that`s easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president.
They’re called scents, not flavors, I should not able to taste your perfume or cologne.
To drink, or not to drink?...what a stupid question!
So I just saw a donkey crossing the road. The cool thing was he looked both ways before crossing. What a smart a$$.
Work is the result of failing to procrastinate effectively.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
Relationship status – table for one but drinks for two.
Chapstick is an entire industry based on you losing the product and buying more.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
I tried jogging this morning, but the alcohol kept spilling out of my glass, f&ck that.
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
They say dolphins are the second smartest animal after humans, but I`ve never seen a dolphin with a face tattoo.
Benefits of hooking up with me: You will be hooking up with me. I could go on but I think I made my point.