Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A box 5 lb. box of chocolates: $40, Valentines Day card: $3.75, not being yelled at for 35 minutes until the chocolate is gone: priceless!
I`d better check my phone for texts from friends. *checks phone* Well, I`d better get some friends...
Next time you’re asked “What’s Up” respond “A delightful animated film about a young boy and an old man who fly away to an exotic place in a balloon house.”
"Just so you know, you`re coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
Screw love... I`d rather fall in chocolate.
When I get a prescription for drugs, I don`t ask, `Will it work? Are there any side effects?` No, it`s `Can I drink with these?`
I have many talents... For example: Sleeping.
I got a new marker today that smells like grapes. Thats why I`ve been so quiet.
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused
If you catch a homeless couple having sex is it rude to tell them to "get a room"?
Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It`s called Facebook.
You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.