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I put the pro in inappropriate.
Last night I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. When I woke up in the morning, my pillow was gone...
I don`t mind sharing the highway with other people. I just wish they`d use the part behind me.
this website used to be full of funny statuses. Then the 8-year olds came in.
When a girl tells you she has a nipple piercing, the correct response is always "I don`t believe you."
If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
I have the body of a God. Unfortunately, it`s Buddha.
Messing up a guy’s hair = cute. Messing up a girl’s hair = putting your life on the line.
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
Scientists have recently discovered that approximately 2% of Earth`s water at any given time is found on Tupperware containers being removed from the dishwasher
Clearly, it is wrong to describe woman`s menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
Three words to ruin a woman`s ego. "I can`t tell."
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
Ever wondered why there’s no window in the airplane’s toilet? Because, really, who’s going to see in?