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The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
My most frequent walk of shame is from one bathroom to the other with the plunger
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
I know you`re the instructor but I`ve seen Ghost 47 times so I know for a fact this IS how pottery is made!
My favorite all time cooking shows: 1. Iron Chef 2. Hell`s Kitchen 3. Breaking bad
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
Think about how much more stressful life`s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.
is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."