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There are no winners the day following a green beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.
Quiet people have the loudest minds.
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
Has anyone donated any money to ALS? All these ice bucket challenges I been seeing makes me think ... you all some cheap bastards
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I`m still looking for ideas.
The only time I proof read is to see how much alcohol comes in a bottle.
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
If you forget your hook-up’s name, just take them to Starbuck’s in the morning.
Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.
My therapist goes to her therapist five minutes after I leave.