Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When`s it gonna be the 4th of July? I feel like blowin somethin` up and not gettin` arrested.
OH NO !,,,,,,,,, I just realized I can`t stop calling the addiction hotline....
Wait...so the "c-word" isn`t co-worker?
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.
Junk food would be a lot easier to avoid if it actually tasted like junk.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Counting to ten when someone pisses you off works much better if you`re counting punches.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I`m cute, I would have 1 dollar ... thanks mom.
Was the little pig who built his house out of straw some sort of idiot?
Five little words that will win my heart, "I brought beer and pizza."
Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
The NFL has hired their first female referee ... She will be throwing flags for penalties the teams committed 5 years ago.
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
Ain`t no sandwich when she`s gone.
It’s a holiday. You know what that means… Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.