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The only difference between fear and adventure is how much you breathe.
Who do Walmart shoppers make fun of?
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
All my bills say "outstanding", I guess that means I`m good to go!
WTF, marathoners? I don’t even like to drive 26 miles.
I saw a sign at a cafe that said, "shoes must be worn." I was upset, because my shoes were brand new.
Everything I like is expensive, illegal, or won’t text me back.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
If you want funny, get off Facebook and watch the news...
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
If you think husbands aren`t good listeners, whisper "Come here, I`m naked" from anywhere in the house and see what happens.