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I`m starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
I`m getting sick of seeing all these lyric status`s, it reminds me of somebody that I used to know.
We always say that our elders are wise, because of their years of experience. But you know what? ... Stupid people get old too.
Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we`re hopeful.
Pro tip: Do not make snow angels in a dog park.
If you think someone is staring at you: 1. Yawn 2. If they yawn, they were staring.
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes and sighing heavily and crossing her arms and holding in a fart.
A group hug in my family means someone wants to use you as a napkin.
I stopped watching the History Channel because it`s so outdated.
It takes so much self control for me not to write, "you sure about that?" under Facebook engagement announcements.
My girlfriend is about to do this ice water bucket challenge. She don`t know yet though she`s still in bed
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.