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Surgery beds are basically cutting boards for humans.
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the internet.
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
I haven`t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn`t blue.
Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
Cheers to alcohol! The cause of, and solution, to all of life’s problems!
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.
Dear small line of dirt that wont go in the dustpan… Screw you.