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If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
If anyone tells you that you drink to much on the weekends. Stop talking to them...you don`t need that kind of negativity in your life
Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I`m like HOLY CRAP I`M OUTSIDE.
Keep the dream alive......... Hit the snooze button.
According to physics heat makes matter expand.....therefore I don`t have a weight problem....I`m just hot
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
Don`t be embarrassed by who you are. Unless you`re stupid. Then you`re pretty much screwed.
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called “Identity Theft”.
Most people don`t think I`m as old as I am until they hear me stand up.
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
Just read someones status, "Today is the frist day of your life," Thats just stupid, mine was over 45 years ago.. If it was the frist day of your life you wouldn`t be able to read it... Dummy