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When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
Honk if you are reading this.
Watching a movie with the girlfriend tonight. Can anyone recommend a good girlfriend?
The first rule of Right Club is that your wife is the only member of Right Club
Marriage: It`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
I feel sorry for historians, they have such a hard time letting go of the past.
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
I react to "Someone has tagged a photo of you..." in the same way I react to a doctor saying, "Your test results came back..."
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head...
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
Just because I don’t like you doesn’t mean I don’t want you to like me.- Most Girls
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
The future is that time when you’ll wish you’d done what you aren’t doing now.