Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
Three things I’m thankful for this time of year: Family, Friends, and Caller ID to avoid family and friends
Is a roasted peanut like a regular peanut that was made fun of by celebrity peanuts?
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
For all those girls that say `all guys are the same` ... Who told you to try them all? Hoe.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
Irons are like 1000 degrees, who`s bright idea was it to make an ironing board the flimsiest contraption ever made?
I saw a sign at a cafe that said, "shoes must be worn." I was upset, because my shoes were brand new.
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
Hey baby, wanna come to myspace and twitter my yahoo `till i google all over your facebook?
Inspiration: nobody else knows what the hell they’re doing either.
My mind is like "LETS DO THIS SH!T" but my body is like "calm down motherf*cker"
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.
The only reason I offer to be the designated driver is so people will get used to seeing me load lifeless bodies into my car.