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My trust issues began when there was no donkey in Donkey Kong.
Puttin the `eff it` in efficient today.
I`m more confused than a homeless person on house arrest.
I`m hearing voices again. Probably because my window is open and there are people outside talking, but still.
I farted on my wallet. Now I have gas money
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
Here’s a little bit of advice for you.. advi
I always give my extra money to Charity. She is usually on the main stage around 11pm.
Where is the "Made In China" labels made?
People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics
I know you shouldn`t text and drive but I`ve only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive.
Im just waiting for the day for Ashton Kutcher to go to Charlie Sheen and say "its stilll your show. YOU JUST BEEN PUNK`D!"
At my age, my biggest fantasy is to sleep through the night without having to pee every two hours.