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Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
I`m at the "what can I make with green beans and cake mix" stage of needing groceries
Spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
Yes, I know why you pulled me over. I didn`t see you in your little hiding spot over there, so I couldn`t slow down in time.
Just ordered a Fitbit and my bank called to see if my card was stolen.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
How many decades of knowing someone before it`s rude to ask what their name is?
Immature is just a word boring people use to describe fun people.
I admit ive been known to wrap bacon in bacon just for the extra bacon flavor
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken.
“My phone’s about to die.” is what I say 30 seconds into every phone call. Just in case!
If you can`t handle me at my worst I completely understand, because I can`t either.