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I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
I`m a good singer. Unfortunately I have a bad voice.
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and a lot of alcohol in them
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
If someone`s mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I`m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
If one teacher cannot teach every subject, then how come one student is expected to learn all the subjects.
Google must be a woman...it knows everything.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
My sleep number is 24. That`s a case of beer and I sleep like a baby.
My girlfriend wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn`t have sex.
I`ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!