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It`s impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
I´m not lazy, I´m just highly motivated not to do anything.
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m coming to your house with a facking baseball bat.
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
When I was a kid, I used to sing, `A, B, C,D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P`
My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
“Let’s hang out sometime.” - liars
I hate bugs that fly, jump, crawl, dougie, twerk, 2 step, all that crap.
Whoever left me in charge of my own destiny has a lot of explaining to do.
Please pray for the people still playing Farmville on Facebook.
When things get to stressful I hit the jim.......... Beam.
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
I like going into McDonald`s and ordering an Egg McMuffin and a McChicken, just to see which one comes first.
is without a doubt, the most popular and best looking person using this laptop.