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So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
Another day, another chance to make someone say, "Oh, now that`s just WRONG"...
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
You could`ve told me that wasn`t your real name before I got the tattoo.
I don’t know who decided that high heels were just for women but…GOOD CALL.
Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
I would offer moral support ... But my morals are questionable.
TIP OF THE DAY: If you can`t afford porn, just turn on tennis and shut your eyes.
I just saw the neighbor`s kid trying to spray whipped cream on his cat. I`m thinking he overheard something last night in that house he wasn`t supposed to.
This Facebook is my serious account. The funny one is my bank account.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, " hahaa, good one!" Then we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.
It`s like my pastor always says, "Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"