Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
Parallel park, like nobody’s laughing.
Only at McDonald`s do they say, "Sorry about your wait" and actually mean "weight" :P
LADIES: Not all men get into a relationship just for sex. Some just need a personal chef.
Pizza: 73% delicious, 27% also delicious.
When I die, bury me with a pack of smokes, no light. Where I`m going, there will have plenty of free fires to light from.
I don`t like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I`m leaving!
I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
I hate when I get to the office and there isn’t a smoking crater where the building is.
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
I`m sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race.
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.