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I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don`t run into anyone you know.
why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?
If my sarcasm confuses you it`s because you`re stupid.
It`s cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can`t even dress the kids properly.
For Lent I`ve decided to give up my New Year`s Resolutions
The Australian kiss is just like the French kiss but down under.
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
Do whatever you want, and if it`s something you`re going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
I may look calm, but in my head I´ve punched you in the face 3 times already!
On a scale of 1-10, I give this day a middle finger.
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.