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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
I`ve set my "life goals" to stuff I`ve already done so literally every day now I`m overachieving. It`s all about perspective.
United should roll out Rodeo Rewards where you get paid based on how long you are able to stay on the plane when you are chosen to volunteer.
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
tried being normal. Didn`t like the feeling, so I`m going back to being ME.
If you think someone is staring at you: 1. Yawn 2. If they yawn, they were staring.
It`s so frustrating when your hitman doesn`t answer the phone after you`ve made amends with someone
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
I just sent out my daily text to a random number saying "I hit Zack with my truck. I`m going to need to use your hacksaw to cut him up.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
There’s a guy whose whole job is to find new places to hide the β€œclose this ad” button.
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.
I think Labor Day is to remind people that after a full day with the family, going to work actually isn`t so bad after all.
True love is when you burn your tongue when you take a bite from a pizza and you still keep eating it.