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It’s amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don’t like them.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
A man who scratches his butt should not bite fingernails!
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.
I hate when I`m admiring my good looks from a car`s window reflection and the people inside think I`m staring at them.
We live in a time where "He is hot" is more important than "He is a nice guy."
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.