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You never know a person until you walk in their shoes, or until you check their browser history.
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
To honor Thanksgiving this month I will be calling every one Pilgrim instead of Dude or Bro-- Fair warning
Was at an Apple store today when I let out a really loud fart. Boy, the employee`s were so mad. Hey, Not my fault they don`t have windows!
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
I love how my calendar assumes when I add a 8:00 event, it’s AM. Google thinks I’ve got my life together.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
It’s never too late for a coffee. After all it’s always morning somewhere in the world.
Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I`m pretty sure she`ll figure out that I`m just after my money
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF