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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I just bought a new pair of sunglasses for whoever finds them in 3 weeks.
Never trust a skinny chef
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
I bet if you were in a city getting attacked by huge sci-fi monsters youd run and scream but in the back of your mind youd be like β€œawesome”
If you can`t remember my name, just say `donuts`.... I`ll turn around and look.
Why does `beans` only mean secret when it`s "Don`t spill the beans?" Why can`t I say I have a dirty little beans to tell you?
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
Warning: forgetting what pocket your keys are in may result in the Macarena.
Good for you, people that do things.
It`s okay I`ll text myself back.
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!!!!