Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have been left unsupervised yet again. This usually leads to trouble & other bad things, please have bail money ready and keep your phone on.
My birthday is coming up. I dont like to think of it as getting older I like to think of it as experience points.
We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing next to you right now, and you`d have no Idea...
Irons are like 1000 degrees, who`s bright idea was it to make an ironing board the flimsiest contraption ever made?
My sister says god`s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers, so I bought her a vibrator because she`s obviously never had an orgasm.
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
You know when you’re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That’s happening to me, only with beer.
Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
Starting a sentence with “If you ask me” almost always indicates that no one asked you.
I didn`t know until this week that so many people I know are politicians...
I’m positive that somewhere out there exists a video montage of me dancing alone in various elevators.
Not a day goes by when I don`t try to use The Force.