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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear….. I’m just fat.
I don`t regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren`t on those bridges when I burned them.
If you can read this please let me know – because it means I blocked the wrong person.
How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I`ll let you know if we can be friends.
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
The last time I touched a breast, it was in a KFC bucket.
I get as much action as a white crayon.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet ! But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
Don`t let anyone tell you what you can`t accomplish. That`s what self-doubt is for.
my neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that 2:30am? Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums...
Some people live life in the fast lane. You’re in oncoming traffic.
I’m bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.