Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
I’m a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
When I squeeze a tube of `whitening toothpaste` and it’s blue, I’m like, well this is off to a bad start.
If you’re a size 0 we shouldn’t be able to see you.
We have so much in common. You want to travel and I want you to go.
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
If you`re wondering why you`re single, date someone. You`ll remember
Word of advice. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks "hypothetically speaking, if I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never give two names......ever.
I wish I could match my dog`s excitement to go outside.
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
Women forgive and forget but always make sure you don`t forget that they forgave you and forgot about it.
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.
I really have to stop using this little microphone on my phone that types whatever you say as it keeps making mistakes punctuation point