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Wine: How classy people get trashed.
If you`ve never played Tetris, you`re probably useless at loading a dishwasher
Turns out Xenophobia is not `A fear of Warrior Princesses`
One person forgetting to take their medication can really liven up a mundane day at the office.
I hide from people too, so I get it bigfoot, I get it.
I wish I could veto MY bills.
If u cant live without me, why aren`t you dead yet.
I dare you to spit on this status.
If anybody tells you you’re putting too much Parmesan on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
It took Harry Potter 7 damn long books to catch the bad guy. When it only takes Scooby-Doo 25 minutes.
As I slide down this bannister we call life, you, and you alone, are the splinter in my ass
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
If at first you don`t succeed, find out where she lives.
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.