Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
If I had a dollar for every time I got suspicious… I’d wonder who the f&*k was paying me, and why?
We live in the era of smartphones & stupid people
Please don`t wear skinny jeans if you don`t have skinny genes.
Knife > gun because if I pull a knife, you don`t know what I`m gonna do. Stab you? Open a letter? Or am I gonna frost a cake? It`s a mystery
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.
There`s no `i` in "Shut the f*ck up!"
I love sleep ... it’s like a Time Machine to Breakfast.
I tried kickboxing, but I couldn`t get the hang of walking with boxing gloves on my feet.
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
You don`t know pissed off until she tells you to go sleep on the couch, and you take all the covers with you.
The cop said it was an outstanding warrant, dad! And you said I`d never amount to anything...