Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People around me think I`m losing it. So today, I had to sit myself down and have a talk.
cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the a$$holes asked me to turn it down.
I don`t like the term "stalker". I prefer "unpaid private investigator".
They have all those non-smoking laws in public places so let’s now all focus on passing some perfume/cologne usage limits.
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I´m upgrading to the tugboat!
My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell `em: "You`re gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates"..... whatever!!
I like to stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
Bartenders are basically professionals that we hire to poison us very slowly in creative ways.
Some days it´s not worth chewing through the straps.