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If my superpower was to be able to stop time, I`d totally use it to take a nap without people noticing.
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
It’s not really drinking alone if the dog is home ... right?
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
I think I like mornings best when they start in the afternoon.
Politicians are people who have too little an amount of morals and ethics to remain lawyers.
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
Not doing anything with my life is surprisingly time consuming.
If a vegan does crossfit which do they talk about first?
The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
I don`t even think it`s possible for a bear to cook porridge.
Can I get likes for no reason?
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?