Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you see someone wearing camouflage, make sure to walk right into them so they know it`s working.
My wife looks for signs I’m cheating, but seriously, who would make a sign?
“Was that lightning?” “No no…. they’re taking pictures for Google Earth..”
Guys: Bet a female friend that she can’t touch her bellybutton with both elbows. Enjoy the view.
I cant afford a Snuggie so I just wear my robe backwards...
When googling something, I always use Caps Lock so that the people from Google know it`s urgent.
Isn`t it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don`t know what ironic means.
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
Where did all the people walking around with boomboxes in the 80s go? I`m concerned
Sometimes I buy huge pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight.
If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “real life” they would offer a class called “working with a$$holes”
If you step on someone`s foot, they open their mouth just like trash cans.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.
If House of Cards has taught me anything it’s that I need a friend who owns a rib place.