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If it weren`t for WebMD I would have never known what symptoms to mimic so I could get all these prescriptions from my doctor.
I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
Is the CEO of Kraft also known as The Big Cheese?
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don`t make a right. Tomorrow I`m going to try three.
Some marriages end up fine, the others last forever.
Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
I would’ve slept my way to the top years ago if it actually involved sleeping.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
Finally got this fire hydrant open, but there was like, the opposite of fire inside