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All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
ASKHOLE: A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them
As the day goes on, coworkers start appearing more flammable.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
My life coach is the cashier at the liquor store.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
Anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?
And yet another year goes by with People magazine failing to recognize my beauty.
Not All Of The `Goodbyes` Are Sad (eg. * Goodbye School * Goodbye Work)
If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
Does anyone have a good recipe for homemade gasoline?
I put on real clothes today. What more do you want from me?
Your girlfriend is rated E... For Everyone
I`m terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.