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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
I’ve robbed banks before and they’re never getting their pens back.
I don`t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
If Freud was alive today he would probably be awesome at telling "Yo Momma" jokes.
My husband ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill. He`s told every other person on earth and I didn`t want y`all to be out of the loop.
Hey NFL, solution to your recent problem, start allowing players to hit each other on the field again
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
I`m painting a blue square in my garden, so that Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
I`d be the stripper that got fired for eating her way out of the cake instead of jumping out of it.
Not a day goes by when I don`t try to use The Force.