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Do you want to know Victoria`s Secret? Their lingerie doesn`t look the same on your girlfriend as it does on their models..
Do you think retailers in Colorado have seen an increase in the sales of Easy Bake ovens and Brownie mix?
You can correct people`s grammar or you can have friends. But you can`t do both.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
The lottery is over $400 million. Sorry poor kids, no dinner tonight...
I answered the door in my underwear. That WAS the tip, pizza guy!
When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer.
There’s no “I” in team and coincidentally none in "Go f*ck yourself" either.
It’s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
I want to follow my dream, but i dont want to look like a stalker
Don`t just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It`s important to also watch some TV.
If you trip and are about to fall on the ground yell "He`s got a gun!" and then you`ll look like a cool hero.
I have heard of women that aren`t crazy, but I`ve also heard of Unicorns.
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.