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People who are about to tell you something then say "never mind" are the reason why I sometimes admire serial killers
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
I accidentally called 911, so I set my house on fire so I wouldn`t look stupid.
Saw a Mime doing his gig. I reached into my purse and pretended to throw money in his hat.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you`re nuts.
Why do people always feel safe under blankets...its not like a murderer will break in and be like "I`M GONNA KILL YAA__AAHHHhhhh dang he is under a blanket.
Whenever someone says to me “Things could be worse” I punch them in the face and say “Like that?”
At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
I`ve totally cut carbs out of my diet. Until lunch.
Most people don`t realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
My life coach just informed me that I didnt make the team
If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up.