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Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
Yes, I realize I’m leaving early. But don’t forget, I also came in late.
You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.
I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest…just not more than I don’t want to.
The last time I saw something as ugly as your face I pinned a tail on it.
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
Who ever invented the knock knock joke should get the no bell prize.
Just tried to put my seatbelt on ... at my desk ... I`m pretty.