Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t let the door hit you on the way out ... Hell, who am I kidding, I hope it hits you and knocks you down the f*cking stairs.
Just remember the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your talent
Some days your the bug; some days your the windshield.
I wake up every morning with the joy & excitement of wanting to go directly back to sleep.
Helpful Tip: When your wife ask whats on TV, don`t say dust.
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Do you know what this house is missing? A box of $#!+, Let`s get a cat.
Only awesome people are allowed to βLIKEβ this status!
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my mind and my temper
Why does it have to be bacon OR sausage?
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup, and just took probably the biggest vowel movement ever
I didnβt get the jobβ¦ heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.